Alexx Arson

  My roommate Ronnie is gone ofr Memorial Day weekend and won’t be back until June 5th. So I wrecked the apartment pretty good. Well not really, I just put empty beer bottles and beer cans all over the place and put junk all the place just because. newspaper all over the couch, crumbs all over the carpet, wasted ketchup all overthe kitchen counter, with vinegar and soda on the kitchen floor so its sticky as hell on the floor. I did it all for fun while listening to Guns n Roses.

  Friday i went over to The Guys apartment and I drunk 5 Rolling Rocks there. Iwent along with Joe to Burger King because his friend is a manager there and is putting in his 2 weeks so he gets free nuggets, fries, and shakes. While we are in line, (of coursee I’m faded form the good weed i puffed with Joe before we left the apartment) I lean over to Joe and I say “Yo, no ones looking, I can hop over this counter and grab a burger and nobody would see.” he tells me” But we’re already getting free food.” “I know but nobody will see” I respond.

  We get back to The Guys apartment and we chow down and Watch “Hot Tub Time Machine” upstairs I drink Weed. yes, you read correctly, I took a shot of a jar of weed. Tastes horrible but the shit got me wrecked. This Asian hustler kept giving me shot after shot and like a dummy I’m drinmking them and now i realize…I’m getting drunk as hell. i decide to head home but for some unknown reason he wanted to block my path and tell me I couldn’t leave. Now I think I may have to fight my way out of this apartment but he was just kidding with me and I take my ass home, a walk I do not remember.

   The only thing I remember is puking up a Whopper in my bed and having a crazy dream or trip that had me going up a mountain in a very long line of people trying to get to the top but I kept getting knocked down and having to get back in line and try to get back to the top only to be knocked down again and doing the process all over again. This was the afterlife. I was sure of it. Did i have a near death experience then I came back to life? If so I want some more of that weed water.

 Man, Chico,Ca, this little college town is a world of it own. I never been to a place like this. I’m a city kid and in cities there are minorities and here in Chico there are very very few Black people here, so at parties I’m usually the token Black guy. But that’s it, that’s all I am, just a Black east coast guy and nothing else. No one can or tries to relate to me when I’m here. Half the people here don’t even know where the hell Maryland is. I have average white guys come up to me and just freestyle to me like I’m Diddy or something and can get them a record deal. Why the hell are you rapping to me?

  Usually I have people ask me do I rap? No I haven’t rapped in a long time. Do I listen to rap? I listen to everything not just rap. I tell people that I came to Chico to make music and automatically they say “Rap?” No. Rock, actually. Then there’s the little word that starts with the letter “N” that most of the kids say here that’s not cool. They say it and a hole burns inside of me like what the hell? What did you say? I don’t even say the N word myself so its weird hearing white people say it. But there are some guys here who has pretty good freestyles like The Guys that live at the apartments up the street from me.

 I’ve been broke for 7 months now, on Social Secuirty and Food Stamps, begging for jobs from one end to next. i even went to a job search workshop for  3 days. It’s like where the hell am I gonna find work. I’m borrowing money from family back home and its hard to talk to them because my cell is turned off (couldn’t pay the bill) and now I have to use my friend Brian’s cell to call them. I was a little hesistant to use someone else’s phone, I guess its my pride or I’m a little embarrassed. but thanks to Brian I can keep in touch with my fam.

 Brian has been my friend since I move to these apartments. We raged for a whole week and we’ve been good friends ever since. We were planning to room up with two other friends Jay and Rye Rye but things didn’t work out for him because he lost his job and he doesn’t have money to pay for the deposit on the new apartment we’re looking to buy so he tells me that he’s moving to Texas for a semester. I’m blown away because my good friend is now leaving me. Damn, who the hell can I talk to now? We usually had some pretty deep moments where he would open up to me about his rough past and his experiences and I would sit there and isten to him vent out all his dark times and it made me think of my own.

   One night we stayed up til 5am just talking about how fucked up his life was and what he wants to change and all I could do as a friend is support him through this time and be a great friend to him as he has for me. But on Memorial Day weekend I would never think that I would finally crack and crumble in front of people. I usually break down to myself, behind closed dorrs but when I started going through this whole bullshit roommate thing with Ronnie; him pushing me out of the apartment by doing sneaky shit and me struggling here in Chico all alone, I needed to talk to someone and Brian was there for me.

  I talked about my childhood and my parents splitting, my daddy issues, and how this fucking town is turning sour and I don’t like it. I’m use to strugglig but I struggled alongside my mom and brother and I was the one who stood strong for them and I felt as though I had to be the rock for them but now I’m alone in CA with no family and I’m struggling alone. Who’s gonna be my rock. I just got so frustrated and exhausted of going through hard times so damn early in my life. I felt like when will I be financiallly stable? When will I be able to have all the things I need and want? I’m tired of going through the raiin. I struggled in Baltimore and I’m struggling here too. I can’t get a break.

  Once I talked to Brian at his apartment on his balcony I decided to shake it off and go to my apartment and grab some grub.On my bedroom door is a note taped to it and its basically a letter from Ronnie about the money I owe to him and that i can’t live there unless I pay him back. So I’m being evicted basically. Great! More bullshit and at a time like this. it was just too much for me to handle at the time. I went back to Brian’s and showed him the letter and he told me that I could stay with him until he leaves for Texas. I go out on the balcony to be alone and think about my fuzzy future and Brian come out to support me and as hard as I tried I just couldn’t hold it in. I’m pissed off, frustrated, alone, and dpependent. I fucking snapped. I cried my eyes out and I don’t usually cry especially in front of people but I was at my end and to cheer me up Brian gave me some wine and that bastard knew that that would cheer me up.

  But not for long because I would continue to be pissed of at Ronnie. With all the hard dedication I’ve put into finding a job to pay my bills on time that prick still doesn’t care. I guess I can’t blame him but when you sit around filth all day long and expect someone else to clean up after you and your mess, when you allow someone to move into your apartment and you don”t put them on the lease, and when damn near everything that needs to done face to face, man to man, you do it on paper instead of knocking on my door. I have no respect for that kid and I’m sure it’s mutual. He may see me as just another street kid with no education, no ambition, just living off of him, and intending to leave him high and dry but really no that’s not the case. He would know me better than that if he took the time.

  But anyway i cried myself to sleep friday night (that’s a first). Woke up and called my family back home and they are willing to help me out on this and they uplifted me just by hearing their voices and showing me how much they care and support me in this journey. The town is dead as hell. Everyone is finished with school and has hauled ass back to where they come from. So Chico is a ghost town and I highly doubt there will be a great Memorial Day (that’s a first). I went back to my apartment when I got off the phone with my family and I have to say, my apartment is cold as a casket. it’s completely clean. Ronnie cleaned up everything (that’s a first)before he went away for the holiday.

  It’s funny that he’s cleaniing up for the new roommies because the apartment wasn’t spick and span when I first moved in. They never even tried to tidy up when they first invited me to look at the apartment so when I walked in I instantly felt like this isn’t my place anymore, this is not a warm, loving, comfy place to me. It never was but with everything going on right now between me and him it’s evident. I walk right into a funeral home, this place is dead to me: the aprartment, the apartment complex, and the town. I’m over this place.

  But luckily for me earier in the week, before this whole drama episode a friend from back home, Tosh hit me up on Facebook about wanting to move to LA and wanted to room up with me. Of course I’m down. I originally wanted to move to LA in the first place but I allowed others to get in my head and try to find another place to live because “LA is whole different place.” So I settled on Sacramento or Chico, I chose Chico. So during that week I looked up 2 bedroom apartments and jobs in LA. I don’t wanna give away any more details about it because I don’t wanna jinx it but it looks like I may be on to something new and exciting.

  Sunday, I needed to escape in a more positive way so I went to church and it was beautiful. Afterwards I went to “Barnes & Noble’s” and read Nikki Sixx’s book “Heroin Diairies” it was just a great book and it took my mind off of all the shit that was going on around me and of course this book is an autobiography so it great hearing about someone’s strugle and how hard their life was and how they overcame it. it gave me great satisfaction as I sat there in the chair all day twith my nose in the book til  ifinally looked up and saw no more sunshine peeking through the windows of the entrance doors.  iwanna head home but  ineed this book to get my mind off things and its geeting really good. I would buy it if i had money but I don’t. I really want this book….okay I’m shoplifting after I spent the morning in church. No wonder my life is insane.

  I wnet home to my quiet as a mouse, lonely as a cell, and clean as a whistle apartment dropped the book off and went to brian’s and Jay’s apartment to play Beer Pong and socialize. It was just a little weird because no one is really truly feeling it this weekend. Everyone is gone home and we are the only misfits still in the area, still in town. We’re hanging out with some girls here that we know and love but the energy isn’t there tonight. I made out with this one girl at her apartment but she was one of those hot n cold girls (no biggie).

 Memorial day came around and I deicded to reflect on my life and since I have the time to myself I can finish my book that I stole form Barnes & Noble. After I finished it I decided to read another book, a good book, THE good book. I read my bible on Memorial Day. I know, I know, I’m bad/good then I’m good/bad. I felt so relaxed and free reading the bible in peace and quiet all by myself. I wash my clothes and started packing my suitcase in hope that I move to LA I have no more food left in the house until the 5th  of June so  I ate dry Apple Jacks and slices of bread dipped in ragu sauce for dinner. But guess what? I was happy about it. At least I didn’t look in dumpsters for food, which  ihave done one night beofre actually.

  All in all this experience is new and different for me. I guess that’s what life is about experiences and what’s the point of life if you keep expeirencing the same ol same ol suff day in and day out. if you do find yourself in a circle, going round n round maybe its time to move on to something new, change something’s in your life to keep the experience new and exciting.

  After 7 months of being in Chico, Ca I have finally found job opportunities. School is almost over for the college students so that means everyone is going home for the summer and plenty of jobs will be open for me-the average joe. A wonderful hot day of walking from place to place (I don’t have money for bus fare, yup, I’m that broke) I found a lot of openings and its getting close for me to get in there and get an interview and such. I’m so happy that my broke days are winding down and I can finally support myself, like how I used back home in Baltimore.

  I’m excited, this calls for a celebration. My roommate has liquor in the cabinet, I brought chaser of Mountain Dew over to my future roommate’s house Jay and Brian. Jay has his sister and her bestie over for dinner. His sister and her bestie are getting hammered so the party has begun. I’ve worked very hard to stay strong and postiive since I moved here. Everywhere I looked it just seemed like employers were jerking me around and giving me the run around. But in the meantime, I was still broke, depending on family to help me pay bills and such. But tonight I’m raising my glass because the season is right for money to be in my pockets.

 So after a while of hanging out with Jay and his sister at his apartment I decide to go and harass my other two future roommies Rye Rye and Brian. I walk over to Rye Rye’s apartment, tipsy. I walk over to his apartment complex where the night sky and my loss of eyesight because I don’t have money to buy glasses or lenses- I mistake his apartment for someone elses. I see two guys sitting in chairs beside the porch. I walk up the steps say wassup to the guys and proceed to enter the front door. They ask me “Hey, do you know someone here?” I said “Yeah where’s Rye Rye?” They had no idea who the hell I was talking about and I had an idea that maybe, just maybe I’m at the wrong apartment. I apologize and walk away. I went to the next apartment and found his actual apartment. Thank God I didn’t get into a fight with those guys, they were good sports.

  Rye Rye and Brian are watching “Blue Mountain State” on Netflix. The fellas are drinking as well and we are chillin’ for a while  until I realized that somthing totally fuckin’ reeks. Its Rye Rye’s kitchen sink. It’s clogged up and it smells like a dead body. No lie! Some time later Jay comes over and here we are all good friends chillin’ together watching the douchey show “Blue Mountain State”. I’m glad I met these fuckers because they’ve made my time here in Chico are great one and I’m excited to be living with them. This would be a great exprience for me becuase we already know each other; unlike my 2 previous living situations where I found them on Craigslist.

 My current living situation was cool at first until it went sour where my roommate Ronnie was basically squeezing me out and moving others into the apartment for next year. I was never on the lease so I had no power or say so over the matter. He had all the power and the really fucked up part about was the fact that he said he was moving out so I could move in 3 others. As I’m preparing to move 3 new roommates into this apartment, I hear from the office one day as I’m trying to renew my apartment here that Ronnie is staying. Interesting, since I’m the last to know and I live in the apartment with him. So I approach him about the situation and he says that he is in fact staying here and moving his brother and 3 other friends. I told him that I would still like to renew my lease here or get a new one since I was never on one. I thought that was the end of that but one day I’m back in the office trying to get the renewal process started and there seems to be some confusion about me staying or going in my apartment.

 Long story short my roommate is telling the oofice something different form what I’m telling them and its confusing the hell out of the office so I have to find out once and for all what the hell is he up to. I catch him in the kitchen and we discuss the matter where basically he plans to move me out and move in whoever the fuck he wants to and there’s nothing I can do about it but just move out. I was pissed because he knew I wanted to stay here in this apartment and he made moves behind my back, as it seems to me. It just felt sneaky to me because he never was direct and upfront about it. I had to find out from the office what he was up to. The fallout of this lead me to go to Jay and Brians apartment and vent to Jay about it and he offered to let me move in with him, Brian, and Rye Rye this summer. So don’t worry your anti-hero Alexx Arson is gonna be okay.

  Anyway, back to Rye Rye’s apartment. We’re getting trashed now that I borrowed Rye Rye’s mountain bike to retrieve some alcohol from my apartment and when I poured out all the alcohol from Ronnie’s liquor bottle I filled it back up with water. Don’t ask why, it just sounded funny at the time. But with too much alcohol there’s a price to pay and the price is piece of mind. Brian and Rye Rye start bickering like grumpy old men over God knows what and after a while it gets more heated and Jay is trying to calm these two down but Brian has had enough and he snaps on Jay, pissing Jay off and so Jay leaves. I could’ve left behind Jay but I decided to stay to try to fix this, I know for a fact that this wasn’t gonna help itself.

  Brian has been going through some hard times and he’s trying to vent to Rye Rye but how can two people have a deep convo if the two of you are drunk or high? This was the problem, no one was sober enough to listen to the other except me. My buzz is gone now because these two are arguing. I try to listen to both of their points but tonight no one is gonna be right because of the drinking. You know how it goes. As Brian prepares to leave from Rye’s apartment I decide to leave as well because we both live in the same apartment complex. To prove to Brian that he’s a good friend and would do anything for him Rye Rye puts a burning cigarette out on his left cheek. I tell him to stop and he burns his right palm with the cig. No lie, honestly that was the most badass thing I have ever seen.

  That’s too much to handle right now tonight so Brian and I head home and as I walked Brian to his apartment he broke down and cried. His problems are deep rooted and its been rough for him since childhood and to bury his problems he turns to drinking and drugs. He realizes that this lifestyle isn’t gonna solve anything and he needs to push this stuff away but he needs support and I assure him that I will support him through it all. I love to drink and everything but I don’t need it and he doesn’t either so we can hang out without drinking. It was like 4am in the morning and I listened to him vent as much as he could and I just listened. he need me listen and I did and when the time was right I gave him some input, my opinion, and some advice.

  He allowed me to sleep on his floor and the next day he was drained mentally and physically, I had no plans that day so I stayed at his apartment to show support. I truly felt that he didn’t need to be alone that day. Whenever he woke up from his much needed nap and needed someone to talk to I made sure I was there but he slept damn near all day. Rye Rye came over with a little black burn mark in his face from last night and we smoked on the balcony of Brian’s apartment while he slept the day away. Rye Rye needed someone to talk to about last night and what were my feelings about it.We lwft the apartment and went to Bidwell park which is amazing. It was a bright, sunny day with wind blowing your hat hat off your head. It was a great day outside. Rye Rye and Jay would go to a concert thta night.

  Brian finally wakes up, he and I gets stoned watching “A Clockwork Orange” on Netflix and he’s feeling a little better. The next day I find out that the job I had wanted since forever has finally offered me an interview and it was during the weekend. I was so fuckin happy that I got an interview to look forward to. I haven’t had an interview since last Fall and I knew that I had this job in the bag. I killed it at this group interview but there’s one problem, that night I had went over my minutes and my phone was turned off becase of it. So Sunday I go to church and in the morning, that afternoon I head over to the mall to inform the employer that my phone is off and because my phone was off when they were calling me for a 2nd interview they had to give the job to someone else.

  I put up a great front in front of the manager when she broke the news to me but once I left the mall I was so heated I punched the plastic walls of a bus stop. I was so furious that I worked so hard to get an interview, get the job but now the job is gone. The job I wanted since I was in Baltimore walking through Baltimore mAalls is not mine anymore. I felt like dying, I was just so sick of fighting and struggling. I was tired of the same ol shit that I was going through right now. I want my independence back and I want now but its taking forever and I’m exhausted. Walking back and forth in the rain, heavy wind, and hot 97 degree days looking for a job, an opportunity. I’m done being on government money I’ve always had my own shit. Food Stamps aren’t bad though but my question is how can a young able body human being be out of work and on General Assistance?

  The feeling that I have to start all over again is too familiar and its anooying as hell but I won’t give up. I’ll fight harder and harder til I win and I will be a Champion. It gets better.

  On Friday I went to see what “The Guys” are up to and they weren’t there. Went upstairs to see my homeboy MC was up too and he had on a black leather jacket on with his hair slicked back and wearing blue jeans. He told me that he’s going to a “Celebrity Party” where you’re supposed to dress up as a celebrity. Our friend D was getting dressed, his costume was Samuel L. Jackson in “Pulp Fiction” which was perfect. We all head downtown to this party and it was pretty chill. Not a lot of people showed up in this big backyard that had a red carpet pulled out at the the gate. To get over the lack of excitement MC and i went into the gargage and lit up. After a whilewe had a few people come over to join us. Next thing I know MC told me to pull out my hand and he pours a powdery substance in my hand. I ask what it is and he tells me its Ecstacy. I lick it up and it has a bad taste in my mouth. Gross. 

  MC and I are ready to leave and the chicks weren’t plentiful so he told me about a place that is a restaurant by day and at night  the bottom floor is a nightclub. Of course i’m down to check it out. We head over to the basement party and its only a $1 cover charge, can’t beat that. The basement was dimly light with bright blue lamps lit in each corner of the room. It looked very European, very Amsterdam like. It was cool for a little while until MC wanted to go back to the Celebrity party to see if its gotten any better since we left.

  We head back to the party and nope, sorry, no progress. it’s still slow tonight at this party and MC and I are rollin’ right now. He’s more E’d up than me. I guess because I kept drinking beer that night? But anyway we bring our friends D and Jess with us to the basement party. We drank Saki, which is great shit. Then after a while we catch a cab home and went back to their apartment complex. Butt MC left his key inside and none of his roommates have their keys so they’re all locked out.

  MC said he might have to climb through the window. Cool, but they live in the upstairs apartment—the 2nd floor. At this point MC is is done, finished, ready to pass out on the steps. I tap him on the shoulder andtold him to get the climbing before I kick your door down for you. We head around back and MC and his roommate are climbing up the balcony. MC was like a monkey, dude. He totally climbed up to the balcony with just his hands and feet. I tried to but in Converses I don’t think so. So I stepped my drunk, E’d ass down from the ledge.

 I made plans with my homeboy Ron to watch the Mayweather fight on May 5th but that didn’t go through so I went back home to “The Zoo” and day dranked with Brian, Rye Rye, and Jay. These guys are gonna be my new roommates starting this summer. Its gonna be a blast living with these guys because they are too cool and they love to party just like me. Anyway, Jay has some from his hometown that came over for the holiday.

  It was pretty tame on this day—Cinco De Mayo but that night (which was a full moon) we all hung out at Jay and Brian’s apartment. I sat for a while and looked up at the moon.It was so bright and so full. I just sat there and reflected on my life—where I am now is what i dreamed of. I dreamed often about traveling and seeing different places and I started on that road but I’m far from done. I’ve been in Chico for 7 months now and I’m about to move for the 3rd time since moving here, I’m presently unemployed but that’s okay I have the government to help me (which is weird for a young able body guy to be on General Assistance and Food Stamps)  but after all the daydreaming or should I say nightdreaming, at 2:30am it was time to go home and sleep it off.  

  It wasn’t as wild as I thought it would be for may 5th but it was great non the less. i didn’t fight anybody so I guess that’s good.

 To be honest I never smoked as much weed before I came to California. Its everywhere and people love to smoke, so now I love to smoke. I was looking forward to 420 because I couldn’t be at a better place to celebrate—California. So I wake up—3pm today after a crazy drunken night. I went around the corner to a weed store called “Blaze n Jays” there was a cookout/420 party there in the store where I bumped into a friend from my neighborhood, Alan. There was a raffle to win a bong and a coloring contest. Yes, you coloring in the lines of something was up for competition. Wish I wanted to join but didn’t enter in time.

  After beer and smoking at the 420 party at “Blaze n Jays” Alan is shit faced riding his skateboard to a nearby party. The funny thing about 420 was that everyone was drunk or sleep. At this party which never got started I had LSD inside a marsh mello. I have no idea how this is gonna affect me today but it should be interesting. Next, I head over to The Guys apartment and this is where the trip takes place. When I was in my friends room looking up a vid on youtube. He came in the room and was behind me and I asked if he liked the song I was playing on Youtube and when I looked he was never in the room.Once I realized I was trippin’ I just bust out laughing and my friend is wondering why am I laughing so damn hard in a room all by myself? The funny part is when I told him “Hey man I thought you were in here” my friend just says “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  This acid is amazing not to mention the weed I was smoking that day, today I felt like Jimi Hendrix but for some reason this girl was freaking me out when I was in the kitchen of The Guys apartment. She and  two other friends came in after the raffle at “Blaze n Jays” and she asks me how old I was and I asked “Why?” She responds with “I just wanna see if I’m older than anyone here.” If you think you’re older than everyone here 9/10 you are. I pretended to forget my age. I don’t know how I am. She asked me a few more times how old I am and after I told her my age I asked her how old is she and she says 21…..bullshit. I was creeped out mostly because of the LSD. I just had this weird feeling about this much older girl lying about her age to pick up young guys. Not that that would’ve been a problem if I was sober, drunk or baked but I’m on acid so I’m freaked out a little. She also had this strange piercing in her mouth, her upper gums— that she was playing with at the kitchen counter, further creeping me out so I left. I felt like she was gonna seduce me, rob me, and sell my kidneys.

   I don’t know why people like to make funny faces at you when you’re trippin but its not cool. It makes for a weird experience. One friend of mine wanted to trip out too so I hooked him up with Alan. He has a lot of catching up to do to get where I was. After I got him hooked up, a large group of us went downtown to party and now as the night progress I start to get hostile. For example, as a lot of us are walking in the middle of the street a neighbor was in his truck and pretended to run us over by doing a variation of blowing his horn, speeding up, and putting his high beams on. It was pretty fun, actually. So the gang of us are still walking and I hear my friend arguing behind me, loud, yelling, and cursing- its like drama behind me so I turn around and walk towards my friend to see who the fuck are we gonna fight right now and someone had to tell me that it was cool. No ones arguing it was just my friend playing around with his neighbor in the truck. This acid is gonna make me fight somebody tonight. At the party I’m trippin because I don’t know if I wanna punch or hug somebody right now. My mood is all fucked around. I honeslty felt on edge and I wanted to tell my friends that if you guys wanna continue to have a great night get me the fuck outta here.

  The trip lasted all night everyone was too drunk or too tired and stoned to stay up with my hippie ass so I went home around 2am. Great day, great night, and great weed, and a great acid trip.

  Coming from Baltimore, Maryland i never heard of or celebrated Caesar Chavez day. It’s a west coast holiday celebrating the achievements and legacy of Latino activist Caesar Chavez. But here in Chico its a day to drink Corona in the streets and get into drunken brawls and party hard. I’m down.

  Friday, everyone in my apartment complex gets the party started with the usual loud music, 30 packs of beer and going “Wooooooooooo”. It’s a sunny day out and the weather is great. I decide to see what The Guys are doing at the apartments up the street from me. I took a few shots of tequila at a friends apartment there. We head downtown and it’s so many people out in the streets. It was this one house with people on the roof chillin’ and drinking and people are just swarming this place. All on the lawn, and all on the porch, it seemed to be too many people in one place. Like some “Project X” shit. The music cuts off from inside of the house and the police who are already patrolling the downtown area tells us all to get off the lawn and move away from the house. You know you have too many people at your party when you need to get police to turn people away.

   So The Guys and a few girls decide to split up, half of us go to the liqour store and the other half head back to the apartment. I walk with the girls to the apartment because I’m sober and a bit responsible. I made sure they got to the apartment okay. I go back to my apartment where my roommates have sombrero’s and they are going back downtown. I agree to go along because I want to bond with my roommates but as we’re all at this one party downtown with a DJ on deck I get separted as usual. I’m running my mouth, having drunk convo’s with people. But I run into some familiar faces at this party and I decide to leave with them.

  We end up at the the dry side of down. This party at this apartment complex sucks. This girl is talking in a horrible Mexican accent, worse than Penelope Cruz. No one’s here but 5 people who aren’t even drinking. This one funny convo that stands out in my mind from this lame ass party was a white guy talking about a white girl at the party to a brutha and me as well. He said that this white girl was racist because when she’s having sex she’s says the “N-Word”. I had to let him know that its not racist if she likes Nigga Dick. My homie and I laugh and gives each other dap and I decide to just dip the fuck out and ride solo. Now that I made it back to my apartment I realize that The Girls are having a party across from my apartment. I go over and its always a great time with them. Sombrero’s, drinks, cute girls, and music. I had a blast then the party has to stop because The Girls have a curfew ordered by security so Brian invites people over to his place.

  Now, I wake up the next morning feeling pretty good but I remove my covers and realize that I slept in my clothes, shoes and all. I freshen up and head over to Brians apartment and I wake my friends up who are sound asleep in bed. I told them I had a good time last night and that I woke up fully clothed this morning. They fill me in on a little detail that I never knew about last night. I left from The Girls apartment, went around the corner to Brian’s apartment, opened the door, looked at the couch and passed out. They tried ever so desperately to wake me up, clapping, shaking me, yelling my name. No luck, but my neighbor started humping me and that shit woke me the fuck up. That freak tried to take advantage of me in my sleep, trying to fufill his fantasy about me. Once I woke up I went home and obviously collapsed on my bed. For the first time ever celebrating Caesar Chavez Day it was fuckin nuts….. scratch the “fuckin nuts” part, I was dry humped in my sleep. It was a great weekend. Yeah, that’s better.

  Its raining like hell all damn day and I got soaked from walking in that shit earlier in the day because I went to the government to ask for money. Yes, times are hard and I can’t get a job so I’m on Food Stamps and looking to get some money to help me pay bills. Anyway, after walking from the Social Services office I’m drenched. I’m home watching “Land Of The Dead” on the couch. My roommate Redd asks if I wanted to get stuck in the mud today. I’m a little confused but it comes together. I’m invited to go find some mud in his pick up truck and run through it.

  I’ve never had the opportunity to do what those Dodge Ram commericals did. You know, a big pick up truck driving in the mud in the woods, that whole chestnut. I agree to go along (Live Fast. Kick Azz is my motto) and we begin this little adventure to the fuckin woods up a mountain with no phone signals and every other house looks like a shack from “Wrong Turn”. Lots of junk on the lawn like old cars, a big dog tied to a tree, and roofs made of tin. These houses actually look like the stuff you see in Horror movies.My neighbor is next to me and is trying to get a chance to light up his weed. If this was a scary movie he would die right after me because I’m Black and we die first in those scary movies because we are in places we shouldn’t be…like in the woods for example.

  Redd’s girlfriend has to pee and we roll up to a gas station that is totally cliche. You know the one that has no one else at the gas station pumpin gas like you are. You seem to be the only group there to get gas for some reason. The place is old, wooden, and rundown. i asked “Are you sure you wanna pee in here? Cuz it looks like a perv would cut a hole in the wall of the ladies room to take a peek.” This gas station was closed though. The owner is probably sawing somebody in half in the back room.

  So we roll further up a hill and we stop to take a bathroom break. Yup, we all got out of the truck and took a piss in the woods. At this time its beginning to snow so the whole cliche horror stuff is no more because psycho’s come out at night or during thunder storms. But with this snow falling on us it looks like we might have a damn Bigfoot encounter. I watch too much tv, I know.

  So time goes on and the snow is steadily falling. It has to be about 6 or 7 inches now. Snow is completely covering the ground and the tall pine trees in the woods. Redd is driving through big mudholes and all this snow and mud comes up on the side of the truck. It was pretty cool to see but Redd is trying not to fuck with a really deep hole though and I thank him for his intelligence becase no one wants to get stuck in a ditch, in the snow, in the woods, and up on a mountain. The experience was great riding through the snow making huge waves of mud come up but now Redd’s girlfriend wants to drive….Lord watch over us.

  His girlfriend was like a teen learning to drive with their nervous parent. Redd keeps directing her “Don’t go too fast!” “Slow down.” Watch that dip.” “Watch out!” She’s hitting branches, riding through every mudhole without a single thought of us getting stuck or if Redd’s truck gets fucked up. But you know what, it was fun while she was riding. Redd takes the wheel again and he finds out that one of his shocks is fucked up. Oops. For my first time going in the woods and in the mountains I had a great time. I took some cool pics and a video of us hitting this really wide mudhole and the mud completely drapes the truck. We didn’t get off’d by Jason and we came back home in one piece. We survived.

 Well it was Thursday and the maintenance lady come to fix a few things in the apartment and I totally flirted with this lady for my own sick enjoyment. “So uh, what are you doing this weekend?” Of course she’s working and what a smile she had on her face. Why wouldn’t she be smiling? A middle aged women in jeans, a ponytail, and a hat on her head is being hit on at work. The best compliment she’ll get all day and of course, it came from me. She gives people popcorn after she fixes whatever that needs fixing in the apartment. Maybe I should break something to get more popcorn.

 I had planned on going out that night to a Frat Party but its been raining for 2 weeks and tonight its windy and as I’m walking to meet my friends a long line of girls are walking with candles in hand and signs protesting againgst rape and spreading awareness of rape. As this march againgst rape is taken place two drunk hicks are yelling “SIT ON IT!!!” and other rude things to these girls.  Chico is filled to the brim with drunk assholes. I’m now downtown and the group of girls are marching downtown and they stopped and stood in the middle of the street. Cars are making detours now because these girls are spreading a message.

  My firends didn’t show up to meet me so we could hang out so I went solo. As I’m walking I feel raindrops on my head. Fuck, its raining again and I just got over a cold. I’m heading over to the Frat House but its no one in sight. The town is low key tonight. No ones partying due the rainy night. I’m a little pissed off so I head home and sit on the couch with the rain killing my mood. Redd tells me that there’s a party across from us and I should go check it out. Now this may suprise you but I actually had to think about going over to party or sit on the couch and be lame. I ACTUALLY had to think this over, the rain did kill my spirit..but for a little while. I went over to this party across from my apartment.

  I’m partying now, playing Beer Pong, my partner was this cute brunette who was most likely the best partner I ever had since playing this game because she would blow inside of the cup and make the pong jump out. It worked every single time. I’m not even gonna make a pun about that. But it was kinda hard to concetrate on the game. This drunk blonde comes into the party yelling “Its my birthdaaaaay.” over and over she would yell this like that puppet from ”Crank Yankers”. So I walk up to her and give her hug and I said “Hey, Happy Birthday. Happy 50th.” She says “Hey I’m not 50. I’m 21.”

 Its Friday and my roommate Redd’s birthday and he’s been drinking all day. To make himself drink more tonight he had to go to the bathroom and puke his brains out. It was disgusting to hear the vomit splatter all over the bathroom sink so I turned the music up on that shit. There’s a kegger in my quad but first I head up to my friends apartment where they’re having a kegger as well. We played a very competitive game of Flip Cup. It was a long assembly line of people on each team. I’m gulping beer and wasting some of into my hand where I would then slurp the shit up out of my hand. Flip my cup and let’s keep the game going.

  This kegger is getting wilder with 4 or 5 people doing keg stands. I had went with a homie to get his bottle of Absinthe from his apartment. This shit came straight from Europe and it was pretty good to me, strong but good. After Flip Cup, Absinthe, and keg stands people are disappearing from the party. So this girl orders a pizza outside of the apartment and tells me she has a dog and her roommate has a weiner and wants to show me. I know what you’re thinking but I know a thing or two about dogs and a Weiner is those little Hot Dog looking fuckers. I went to her roommate and I said “Show me your weiner and I’ll show you mine.” At her apartment I saw the one girls dog which was a fucking Siberian Husky which is just too cool to even be around. Those dogs are so smart they can open refrigerators. I must get one just for that alone. “Hey Balto, get me a beer.”

  It’s now St. Particks Day and I hear my neighbor playing “Niggas In Paris” I look out of my window and see that he’s fucked up—ever since last night. So I say to him as I’m on my balcony ”I don’t even know what that means.” Of course he responds “Nobody knows what it means but its provactive.” Together we finish the line “Gets the people goin’.” “Hey, you wanna shot?” he yells up to me from his front door and I reply “I’ll be right over.” I throw some clothes on and take a shot of Smirnoff and it was 10am. My neighbor and I started St Patty’s Day off on the right foot, filling up our flasks with vodka, playing music loud to wake up the hungover neighbors around us, and yelling “Wake up, take a shot”. My nieighbor is wild he takes a glue stick and writes “St. Patty’s Day Bitches” on the front door and on the living room window. After that he manages to knock the screen out of the living room window. I have no idea how or why but its St. Patty’s Day bitches.

  My next move is to “The Guys” apartment up the street where they have Hennessy and Pepsi. Upstairs I smoke Hash and weed which was around 12pm or so. I’ve been going hard since I woke up at 10am and it was non stop from there. One of “The Guys”  neighbors needed a wake up call so he could party some more, so we go over with a radio and speakers, enter his apartment, go inside his room where he is sleeping soundly, plug up the radio and blast music on number 11 in his ear. “The Guys” are yelling “WAKE UP! WAKE THE FUCK UP! IT’S ST PATTY’S DAY!” The evening is all smiles, all drinks, and all fun, one of the guys is dancing in the hallway, singing and kicks over the trashcan…on purpose. He just Spantan kicked the trashcan and his roommate is like “Hey, nice goin’ faggot.” I happen to meet this free spirited hippie chick outside who’s sooo hammered that she showed all the guys outside of the apartment who are smoking cigarettes that the only green she has on is her green panties. Of course we got proof of that shit. She’s shaved, in case you were wondering. I actually felt a little worried that she might get raped. After seeing those girls Thursday march againgst rape I was a little concerned for this hippie chick…then I went back in the house to finish drinking.

  I walk back to my apartment and for the first time since I’ve moved in we have a little party going on. We’re playing Beer Pong and making Car Bombs. My roommate Christine is drunk and I never seen her this drunk before and I think its so funny. There’s always that one person that doesn’t drink much when they’re out but when they get too much to drink they become the funniest person at the party, well that person was Christine. We did Car Bombs and she takes one sip of it and throws the the cup into the sink, the entire drink is down the drain now. She’s like “Eww that is horrible, it tastes like baby tears” and storms out of the apartment. My roommate Ronnie, my neighbor, and I are laughing our asses off. “Baby tears.”

 I walk back over to “The Guys” house and everythings cool until some drama comes through. No holiday that requires drinking is drama free. Christmas, New Years, Halloween especially and St. Patrick’s Day are all holidays filled with drama. So my homeboy gets into a little arguement and he’s pissed. Us guys we love to punch things and so he did and now his arm is bleeding but he’s not seeking medical help or anything right now. He’s trying to walk away from people who are constantly going up to him asking him “what happened?” and “are you ok?” He can’t get away from the crowd so he walks down the street. I see him walking alone and from what he been through tonight he shouldn’t be walking alone. I walk with him for a little while but he tells me that I should go back and party and don’t worry about him. I resisted going back to the party and decided to walk with him but he was so convincing that he doesn’t need any help and that he’s fine and that he’s going to the hospital. I thought for a while maybe he’s right, maybe I should let him be by himself so I walk back down the street. The sky is so incredibly gray now. I look around my shoulder and I decided to say fuck that I’m walking with my homeboy but he was gone, that quick he left my sight.

  I go back to the party but I’m too worried to party on. I feel like shit for leaving him and I don’t know if he’s going to the hospital or what. I’m just fucked up right now. Then I get invited to a party way out in the sticks and I said you know what let’s go. I found out that my homie is in the emergency room by now so I can go and party. I get into a crowded cab with 5 other people to go to this party. Lap up, lay across, that type of shit. As we’re driving down this road I see nothing but dark skies, acres of land and orchards to my left and to my right. Where the fuck am I? We arrive at the house in the middle of nowhere and one by one we all spill out of the cab like Circus clowns. Now, this isn’t actually a party, all the guest are on their way in buses. So we are the party this handful of us guys and that hippie chick are sitting around listening to music drinking Car Bombs and shot of Tequila.

  The one cool thing about this house is that they have a stripper pole in one of the rooms. Of course the free spirited hippie chick displays her stripper moves drunkingly. Great, no one isn’t here yet, I’m hungry, and I don’t know where the fuck I am. Oh, and this hippie chick, she went around the pole, she did a whirl and she lost her grip and fell in the corner of the room like a sack of potatoes. Next, I’m in the kitchen drinking shot of Tequila the hippie chick takes her bf into the bathroom. Yup! Free spirit. Six minutes later the guy comes out and says “Don’t judge me” then out comes the hippie “Don’t judge me either.” Too late Janis Joplin. Just kidding I could careless its St Patty’s Day lets get fucked up and fucked. After about an hour here we call a cab to come pick us up and take us back. Yes, that means pile up, lap up, and sit across someones lap again.

  We arrive at the gate of the apartment now, we’re home and we all get out of the cab one by one, sore and aching from one person shoulder blade backed againgst your chest. The night went really well, my homie is back from the ER and he’s ready to party again. We go to the upstairs apartment and drink more tequila and party hard til 2am when basically everyone is winding down from drinking all weekend and little amount of sleep. I walk home to my partment and watch tv on the couch. Then my neighbor and Redd comes in. We take shots of Jameson and smoke a bowl. An end to a great weekend of binge drinking from Thursday to Saturday. Kiss me I’m Irish..somewhere on my family tree.

  I was invited to a birthday party which everyone has complained and said it’s too far. We were at a friends house pre-gaming and waiting for the cabs to come. The cabs would send over vans and watching two girls make a head count on who was going? Who was gonna put money into paying for the cab? It was like a field trip. We take off but stop around the corner to 711 to get some beer. These girls here in Chico can drink.

  We arrive at the house, the party destination and honestly it wasn’t that long of a drive and the cab only cost $8. We come in and I’m greeted by the birthday girl. She looks hot in her little black dress. This place is huge, lots of space, wide ass rooms and the ceilings are pretty high. The theme for this party was a Masquerade Party but I didn’t know and clearly judging from the people here at this party no one really put forth the effort. But seriously who does? It seems like no one cares for themes. “All Black Party”, “All White Party”, “70s Party”, “80s Party”, etc. etc. no one really gives two shits about a theme lets just show up, drink, and pass out.

  The bathroom was a bit of an issue because girls were puking—there’s always one…or two at every party. So with this group of people who gotta go pee pee who are sitting on a small dresser in the walk in closet, I decide to go out to the side of the house and piss outside. It’s so great having a penis. It comes in handy. In one of these rooms it was like the VIP section. A few people just sat in the neat and wide bedroom with white walls, a high ceiling, a walk in closet and personal bathroom. Everyone in the room was sitting chillin, drinking, and laughing. Also waiting for the bathroom door to open up.Also this room had some “white girl”. Not my thing but hey, to each’s own. I can be around people who are snorting lines just as long as they don’t freak out and get paranoid or OD and we have to give them an adrenaline needle like in “Pulp Fiction”.

  I decide to chat with these girls who were friends of the birthday girl and when they opened their mouth to speak they had a British accent, so cool…or was it an Irish accent? I was a little drunk I don’t remember but they were really cool and free spirited. It was a great convo because we come from different backgrounds, different cultures, and different countries. Now I know what you’re thinking “Did you hook up with the British or Irish or whatever those girls are?” Nope one was a stone cold lesbian and the other just recently stopped having No Strings Attached, Friends With Benefits,and Casual Sex because of a reputation she was getting. How dare you judge a free spirited young girl? She has the will power and freedom to do what most people think about but too scared to do. I was devastated. I couldn”t believe she let those nasty words like “Slut” stop her from having casual sex. Oh well this party is starting to clear out and cabs are pulling up to take people home and yet I’m busy drinking and finding where the next party is gonna be.

  I relaized that my friends left already and I can’t stay the night here so I said fuck it. I leave out to go on the trek back to my apartment but with my luck it starts to drizzle and mind you, my hair is still like Afro Samuari. So my hair is getting wet and I’m gonna be a sick Jules Whitfield with a cold in the morning. I don’t know why I like to prove people wrong put after riding in the cab to get to the party I had a gut feeling I wouldn’t be out in the middle of nowhere. I heard from a friend earlier in the night when we were pre-gaming that the party is about an hour away well guys I made it home in about 30 minutes. I just moved here 5 months ago and I know short cuts like the back of my hand. They should make a statue of me on Main St because of my great accomplishment of leading drunks to the Promise Land with no Google Maps or advice.

  I get home and my roommates couldn’t believe that I actually walked home. They made Top Ramen and watched action movies and had a drunk conversation about which guy starred in this and who starred in that. My roommate Redd confused Kurt Russell with Russell Corwe confusing the hell out of Ronnie and me. We’re looking up their films to verify that Redd was wrong about Russell Crowe being in Escape From New York. Next, Redd goes out the front door and a little puppy dog comes strolling in like he lives here. We have no idea where this little pup came from but we had to hold him til we found out who he belonged to. I think we should keep him but that’s just me. I’m the biggest dog in the house. Soon I hear two girls calling “Lucky” so that’s that, Lucky returns home to his master’s across the street and I go to sleep, wake up with a mean ass cold.